| i have the flu |
[Sep. 29th, 2009|12:24 pm] |
| [ | feelin' |
| |  sick | ] |
woo hoo! ugh.
last night i talked to doug and he said that he was disappointed he hadn't seen me in awhile. i told him i'd love to see him but that i was sick and didn't want to contaminate him. lol
so this morning he texted me asking me if i was feeling better. then next thing i know andrea comes running inside saying that doug was here. i was like wtf? he just texted me. anyway, it was really cute and he just wanted to see if i was feeling better and if there was anything he could get me. aslkdfjs. :) |
|
|
| ugh. |
[Sep. 26th, 2009|10:09 am] |
| [ | feelin' |
| |  depressed | ] |
for some reason i always feel like starting with "oh, life." or something to that effect. every time i sit down to get my thoughts out that's my first reaction. the past week or so has been quite strange.
i officially hate street vibrations. yesterday i was walking home from a friend's house and a huge pack of them decided to harass me for a few blocks. i felt so dirty and violated and they didn't even touch me. ugh. then a bit later i was driving to the local dance shop to get a refund for shoes that broke the 2nd time i wore them and getting on to the freeway i saw one of the bikers get hit by a car. horrible. just not a good day.
and i couldn't get a refund for the stupid pointe shoes. the owner said i'd have to call the company and complain. i know its so trivial, but it just wasn't the day for anything more to go wrong :/
i couldn't sleep because i was too upset from everything and kept seeing that scene over and over, so i texted jeff to see if he was still awake cuz he usually never sleeps. so we talked for about an hour at freakin 230 in the morning. i love the fact that he's there when i really need someone to talk to, i just wish he'd be a little less busy so we could actually hang out more. i haven't seen him in forever. |
|
|
| oh, life. |
[Sep. 12th, 2009|07:51 pm] |
| [ | feelin' |
| |  sore & exhausted!! | ] |
it's really hard when you really like someone, but life just gets in the way. is it that it's just not meant to be, or maybe just not right now? or is there something/someone else that i'm meant to open my eyes to instead?
i really hate envy, but right now i can't help but be envious of those that have that someone. ugh.
anyway, on a much different note, when camp was over and i returned to reno, i was convinced that the dance chapter of my life was over. yet every time i thought about it, i'd get this weird feeling in my stomach, like something just wasn't right.
then my director called me and said that as of that moment (on thurs) she was at half the cast for nutcracker from last year and pretty much begged me to come back. i told her that my schedule wasn't very open during the week, and that dec 5th & 6th i wouldn't be able to make rehearsal due to graduation & recovery from graduation (lol) and she agreed to work around my schedule.
so, nutcracker - here i come :)
life is so strange. maybe ballet should just be my boyfriend. |
|
|
| this journal is a funny thing. |
[Sep. 2nd, 2009|08:47 am] |
| [ | feelin' |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | i hear |
| | imogen heap - aha! | ] |
i haven't been on here in forever...and it seems like the only things i cared about were drinking and guys and self-confidence (or lack thereof). and i usually only posted when i was angry. hmm.
well, life's taken a different turn. this summer was crazy. i can't believe my brother convinced me to work at boy scout camp with him, and i can't think of any place i'd rather havae been this summer. it's too bad that so much shit went down, but overall it was an amazing experience. and i love my new family :)
this semester's going to be great and i'm really excited. graduation in december! i really can't believe it. it's insane. i don't want to grow up and get a real job! hah. i'll prob just go back to school :)
and jeff's pretty awesome. he's so successful at everything he does. i can't imagine calling up trisha yearwood, or the beach boys, and asking them to sing part of a song i've rearranged and am recording for an album. especially an album where all proceeds are going to juvenile diabetes research foundation. how the heck do you make contacts like that?! anyway, pretty cool.
lastly, today's the first day of my internship! can't wait :)
life is such an amazing gift! |
|
|
| word vomit. |
[Aug. 13th, 2008|11:00 pm] |
| [ | feelin' |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | i hear |
| | lady gaga - just dance | ] |
eric and i aren't speaking. its weird. he went from saying how he's liked me since i started dating andrew and was ready to dump his girlfriend for me to the complete opposite saying i was a whore and deserved sebastian. what an asshole.i have too much faith in people. friends tell me to stay away from people and i always decide no, i'll give them a chance. in every single instance that i've been given that sort of advice, they were right. so why do i keep giving people chances? jason's been in vegas for what feels like forever & i don't see howard or darryl as much as before. it's weird. nikki comes back on friday, so at least i'll have a roommate and a friend up here who doesn't have a penis. it's been lonely here. i've been in my new apartment for almost a week and a half now and i haven't even met the roommate that supposedly lives upstairs. also, there are way too many sirens here. it's quite disturbing. i hear sirens then go to my window and look out at sierra st only to find its just another ambulance. it really bothers me that that many people could be in trouble all the time. sure i understand that sometimes its precautionary, but its still crazy to think about. dance starts back up in 6 days and i'm not ready for it. i've gotten lazy, but i guess that needs to change since school starts in 12 days. i decided to start working out and stretching again to prepare for dance. i ran 3 miles and did 100 crunches. i also realized that i still have my left & middle splits. just the darn right side that needs to be worked on. i'd forgotten how much i hated working my arms. UGH! i'll just be glad when i see the definition i used to. michael phelps is an amazing man. the only thing he needs to realize is that i am in his future. :-P or denis ikovlev. i really wish he was not playing basketball in ukraine anymore, he should be here in reno taking me out on dates and kissing me and making me feel amazing. haha. man oh man. talk about way out of my league?! aanyway, i can't wait for mike to come up here. it'll be good to have him around. i went to tim's jazz gig last week and zack (the bass player) said i was really hot...but he has a girlfriend. that made me smile (not the girlfriend part). and so did taylor but i got shy and didn't even talk to him. he was very very attractive. i was hoping i'd get to see him again this week, but i promised mike & aj that i'd have dinner at their place since they were cooking & they do that so rarely. hopefully the next thursday then. lastly, i've decided i need to work on my confidence. all my guy friends say i have a great body, i get whistled at by guys on the street pretty much every time i open my window, i get offered to be bought drinks, i get complimented by strangers, so why am i not happy? why do i not see it? hopefully time and a different attitude will change this... |
|
|
| i don't know anymore |
[Jun. 28th, 2008|09:11 am] |
| [ | feelin' |
| | sad | ] |
anything anymore. he supposedly came here to visit me, but won't spend any time alone with me.
two nights ago his friend drove him over because he wanted to talk to me, but really all that happened was him yelling at me for not understanding what it was like to break a wrist and not be able to fix it because of no insurance, for not having to wake up at 6am because i don't have a job, and for not having to worry about money because mommy and daddy pay for fucking everything. oh and apparently i don't show enough respect for his job, and instead of being worried about him hurting himself for doing stupid shit in the river i'm supposed to be proud.
last night we went to a local band show. he wouldn't buy me a drink because, "[i'm] a big girl and should be able to get one [myself]". then apparently it was too loud, so he decided to go out into the casino and gamble. after the show i went and found him and told him i wanted to spend some time with him before he left. i waited an hour while he finished playing craps and then we were walking to my car and he was a drunk mess and told me i was being stupid and unreasonable because i don't understand his life, so i left his ass there.
and now he's in fucking tahoe with some guys and i dont know if i'll get to see him before he leaves. he won't answer when i call or text.
i really don't want him to go without talking to me cuz i dont know when i'm going to see him next.
:( |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2008|03:54 pm] |
| [ | feelin' |
| |  confused | ] |
i don't know why i'm dancing anymore
i don't know if i still want to pursue pt
i don't know why i'm letting dance interfere with church
i don't know why i feel so alone
i don't know why it seems like nothing really matters anymore
i don't know what the future holds and i'm FUCKING SCARED. |
|
|
| le sigh. |
[May. 19th, 2008|02:52 pm] |
| [ | feelin' |
| | crappy | ] |
for being my birthday, things haven't been great so far.
-went to the dmv cuz i realized my license expired today, and the lady was bitching at me because my license said i had hazel eyes when i clearly have green eyes and made me take out my contacts to prove it. fucking bitch.
-got home and had to chase a fucking bird out of the house and it pooped on my shirt.
-talked to sebastian who told me he's leaving in 5 days for ft. irwin, and i won't get to see him until late july/early august, but that's only if his officer training doesn't get moved up.
i really don't even want to go out tonight. |
|
|
| i've been so stressed over the end of the semester... |
[May. 9th, 2008|06:38 am] |
| [ | feelin' |
| |  grumpy | ] |
that i forgot to mention i have a boyfriend! he's hott, even though he's 3 inches shorter than me :)
also, it feels great to be dancing 5 days a week again. we started learning choreography on wed, and i love it!
lastly, i've kicked ass on the first three of my finals, but in a few hours i'm gonna get raped by my next one. sad. i have no hope left for it, and that is why i'm on the internet instead of cramming. oh well. |
|
|
| tonight |
[Apr. 30th, 2008|05:22 pm] |
| [ | feelin' |
| |  anxious | ] |
i'm auditioning for reno dance company. woo!
i'm nervous. eek!
[EDIT]: I'm the newest company member of RDC!! |
|
|
| RFL |
[Apr. 26th, 2008|11:23 am] |
| [ | feelin' |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | i hear |
| | postal service | ] |
I can't even explain in words how great of an experience Relay for Life is. This year was a little different for me because I've lost 4 friends to cancer within the past 10 months. The silent laps were some good reflection time, and the rest of the evening was a blast.
I convinced the guys to come over and support the cause and they did! Also my team was made of of some really great people. I didn't really know anyone very well but I made some great friendships by the end, Anna, Stephan and Carlena in particular. I played some soccer and a couple of guys I haven't seen in months tried to teach me how to throw a football. Yeah, the keyword there is tried. I'm more on the hopeless side than prodigy side of football throwing skills. haha. And I walked 12 miles! That's a lot for not ever exercising, but it was fun!
On another note...
The earthquakes, although ranging from practically nothing to 4.8, are getting to be a little unnerving. The stadium shook really hard a littl ebefore midnight last night, and we were on the ground. I think I would probably by a nervous if I was on the 7th floor of the res halls.
I just got news that my friend Chris' house is pretty bad...it's situated exactly on the fault line, and a lot of damage was done. Sad. |
|
|
| sick :( |
[Apr. 16th, 2008|08:33 am] |
| [ | feelin' |
| | sick | ] |
strep throat sucks. i've been awake for 5 of the past 36 hours. and i'll probably go back to bed pretty soon. i just want to be well! |
|
|
| i really wanted to dance today, but no one would oblige |
[Apr. 11th, 2008|12:43 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home. finally. | ] |
| [ | feelin' |
| | exhausted | ] |
| [ | i hear |
| | roommates chattering downstairs | ] |
i've decided...
-that i'm going to be content with my weight
-that i'm going to try to stop being so picky (i ate a salad for lunch today!...gross)
-that i'm going to meet tall guys
-that i'm going to be less shy and less passive
-that i'm going to introduce myself to at least one new person every week
-that i'm going to be more understanding and less impatient
yes, that concludes my list for tonight. i can't believe i was on campus for 12 hours today. horrible. but i'm 95% sure i got an A on my kinesiology test, and 100% sure that i got an A on my spanish presentation today. hooray for that! time for sleep. |
|
|
| spring break |
[Mar. 31st, 2008|09:24 pm] |
|
vegas sucked...but going to SF with 7 guys totally made up for it. especially convincing them all to go to the museum of modern art with me :) |
|
|
| so so so sore |
[Jan. 24th, 2008|04:10 pm] |
| [ | feelin' |
| |  excited | ] |
ay. probably not a wise decision to jump into a 2 hr body conditioning class followed by a 2 hr lyrical class when i haven't danced in 10 months. holy freaking shit.
but on another note, it's nice to have finally found a decent studio, with a director & staff who are amazing. granted, its no huge place like FACA, but it's wonderful. (:
this totally makes up for all the bullshit going on. heck yes! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 14th, 2007|03:21 pm] |
|
the semester's pretty much over, and so is this year. my new goal? to just be happy. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 11th, 2007|07:12 am] |
| [ | feelin' |
| |  blah | ] |
i can't believe i'm having such a hard time getting over him. it sucks. i can't sleep, and i've got finals and studying to deal with now.
my dad's going to kill me when i get home. i'm sooo not wanting to make that drive. :( |
|
|
| a few things. |
[Nov. 30th, 2007|10:33 am] |
i'm happy it's snowing, but weathermen are retarded. 10% chance of flurries before noon? uhm. everything is white, and its been snowing pretty steadily since 8.
although i enjoy the snow & beautiful whiteness of it, its fucking cold! 28 degrees?! right about now i'm really thankful for the coat andrew bought me (:
andrew - the navy? really? i'm confused and kinda sad. ):
i'm going to lunch with jacob's mom today cuz she's in town for ben's basketball games (state!). i hope that's not lame. i'm excited to see her & possibly ben too (:
( our cat is retarded. hehe ) |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
skizzymelza's journal